SEARCH RFS:

Roman Learns to Cook, Inanity Ensues

Never miss a glorious update - click here!

I’m not a very adept cook.

Or perhaps it’s better to say that I haven’t traditionally been a very versatile cook with regard to having a large variety of meals in my reportoire.

I know that this is probably surprising. I try hard not to fall into too many stereotypes of “typical” men. My love of fashion and hair products, I think, backs me up on that.

However, I’m not sure if it’s a “man” thing or just a laziness thing, but I’ve never really put too much effort into food prep.

When I was in college and competing in bodybuilding, I literally lived on cottage cheese, protein powder, tuna (right out of the can), beef jerky, nuts, and some fruit. Occasionally I’d make it to the dining hall and have some chicken.

When I graduated, I was no longer competing but I had a lot of pretty strict dietary habits. Same breakfast, lunch and dinners usually. For the past few years, I’ve mostly been able to feed myself with very basic recipes.

I have grilled chicken at least once a day, every day, lots of veggies, cottage cheese, and all that stuff.

Sure, I can make a mean omelet. Give me an open flame and I’ll grill the shit out of some meat. Beyond that, though, my culinary skill is pretty lackluster.

Well, it’s my goal to change that this year, so I’m taking you with me for the ride.

I contacted my friend Rich Schoenacher, who is a cook at one of the best restaurants in San Diego, and we decided that while I was visiting him, he’d give me some lessons.

In the following video series, we make a cool chicken dish, and fill the time with more shenanigans than are necessary or sane. Enjoy!

Here’s me giving a quick intro and making my mom damn proud (or not at all):

 

Oh, here’s me learning to kill, cut, maim and murder a chicken. Sweet!

 

Blender mishap? Almost. It’s mostly just me eating in the background.

 

And HERE is the exciting conclusion. Know about it!

 

Soy and Mustard Marinated Chicken with Carrot Miso puree and Broccoli

(Serves 4)

  • Soy and mustard Chicken
  • 1/2 c soy sauce
  • 1 T brown mustard
  • 3 cloves garlic thinly sliced
  • 1 T mirin (Honey may be sub. but its not as good)
  • 1t chili flakes (optional)
  • 2 chicken breast skin off
  • 1T olive oil
  • Salt and pepper to taste

Combine ingredients into a Ziploc bag and shake to combine. Add chicken, seal tightly and marinate for 2 hours. Discard liquid after use.

Carrot Miso Puree

  • 2 c carrots thinly sliced
  • 1/2 thumb ginger peeled and thinly sliced
  • 1c Water
  • 1 T white miso
  • 1 t salt
  • 1 t pepper

Combine all ingredients into a pot. Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer cooking for 10 min or until carrots are tender. Add to blender and puree until smooth adding more water if necessary. ; Season with salt and pepper.

Broccoli

  • 4c broccoli florets
  • ½ c hazelnuts toasted and crushed
  • 1T olive oil

With and ice bath ready (bowl of ice and water) and a large pot of water boiling, add broccoli to Boiling water letting cook for 45 seconds or until just tender. Place immediately from boiling water to ice bath to the stop cooking process. Remove from ice bath and drain onto towel.

Carrot Salad

  • 1 carrot
  • 2T Italian parsley leaves whole
  • 1 bowl of ice water
  • Cut carrot into 3 inch pieces. Take carrot and with a peeler peel long thin strands place into ice water and let sit in fridge for 30 min so they curl.

    To assemble dish

  1. Pre Heat oven to 400 degrees.
  2. Season chickens with salt and black pepper In a large ovenproof sauté pan, over med high heat, place 1T olive oil into pan. When oil is hot add drained and marinated chicken, breast side down, cooking for 3 min or until brown. Place pan into oven and cook for 10 min or until completely cooked through. (If you don’t have an oven proof pan you can place a sheet tray in oven during pre heating and place chicken onto that.) While chicken is in the oven prepare the broccoli.
  3. In medium sauté pan over med high heat, place 1 T olive oil into pan. Add broccoli and hazelnuts and sauté for 2 min or until hot. Season with salt and pepper.
  4. Warm up carrot puree adding 1T water to thin out if necessary
  5. To garnish place carrot peels and parsley into a bowl. Toss with olive oil and place on top of chicken

Nutrition facts per serving

Roughly 450 calories, 28g fat, 20g carbs, 34g protein

(NOTE: I was completely off in my calculations in the video. Why? Because I forgot all the oil. My bad.)

About the Author

John Romaniello is a level 70 orc wizard who spends his days lifting heavy shit and his nights fighting crime. When not doing that, he serves as the Chief Bro King of the Roman Empire and Executive Editor here on RFS. You can read his articles here, and rants on Facebook.

  • I feel like you could probably teach a class on how to make a great blog.

  • I myself is not adept in cooking but I'll give it try by following the videos that you posted. Thanks, Roman!

  • Ania

    I laughed my ass off through all of these vids, as usual!

    LOL @ the “quads and hamstrings” – “what's that called?”…”ah yeah, that's just a thigh…”

    Double LOL at the hand puppet…eew.

    I have a question for you! You're obviously Italian – have you not grown up on pasta, pasta, sauce and more pasta?! My partner is Italian and god he's a pasta fanatic. I'm trying to imagine your mum watching you through college surviving on cans of tuna and cottage cheese…I can almost hear her saying (in an Italian accent) “Oh Johnny, you eat pasta! Pasta! Momma will cooka you a nice meala!”

    LOL. I know she's probably not like that ;)

    Anyway, great stuff. You're so cute!

  • Matty

    hey roman,

    On the topic of food, what do you eat after a fast?

  • Fredacus

    Gordon Ramsay should bow down to ya fellas. I totally dig the cooking twist, food preparation and technique is something that is rarely touched on as it comes to nutrition, and surely is a vital part of making the stuff tasty.

    I'll need a video demonstration of those bbq-ing skills sir! (especially since summer is coming up and all)

  • Slagathor

    Nice work Romanizzle (almost sounds like a dish), although I don't believe for a second you did not intend to show that much clevage. We all know you that well by now.

    But glad to see that you're making a stand against predjudices and stereotypes, a little dissapointed about the absence of flexed pecs under a pink frill-apron. We've talked about this, remember? Now you have to make a sequal so I wont be dissapointed

  • Jessica (in Aussietraylia)

    Hey Roman,

    It’s so great to see you taking the bull by the horns (or the chicken by the drumstick in this case) and throwing yourself into learning to cook. I have no doubt whatsoever that if you bring even half as much determination into the kitchen as you bring to the gym you’ll end up being a fantastic cook. Hopefully along the way you’ll also discover the joy in cooking. I’m not a terribly artistic person so the kitchen is one of the places that I get to express myself creatively. Also it’s a pretty good feeling to hear silence descend over a dinner table while people you care about heartily and contentedly tuck in to something you’ve made for them.

    The other practical side from the point of a fitness/health blog is that the more you learn to cook, the more you gain an appreciation for the quality of the food that you work with and end up eating. You soon realise that there is so much wonderful food out there that there really no excuse whatsoever for eating badly. For example it’s winter now here (obviously) and so for me it’s time for soup making. I love making soup (even making the stock from scratch if I’m being reeeeeeeally good) and I now can’t bring myself to buy any prepackaged stuff as even the supposed “homemade” brands are full of salt, sugar in particular which drives me nuts, and of course those wonderful E numbers….

    As for video ideas – why don’t you get your Mum to show you how to cook something? I’m sure she’s an awesome cook and not only would it be a source of great homemade recipes but other people’s family dynamics are also highly entertaining. In my case, me in the kitchen with my mother would be like watching a train wreck – you just couldn’t look away despite the horror ?

  • Todd

    Nice video Roman!

    -I understand how you feel about not knowing how to actually cook good food, but when it comes to a matter of feeding the body healthy food I can get the job done. Most of the time my meals are rather bland so it's nice to find new ways to add some kick to the chicken. I'll try to cook that tonight. I never dissected a chicken before so this should be interesting. I did cook a whole turkey upside down once though. As a result it wasn't cooked all the way so my friend and I just ate around the raw part. Pretty sick but we were hungry.

  • Originally Posted By HannuGreat recepie, but video shooting sucks. ( sorry to the lady behind the camera ) If you are going to continue video blocking take more attention to that, please.

    Hey Hannu,

    Sadly I can't promise to put less of myself on camera. Just not happening =)

    My camera-person is always whoever is available at the moment, so beggars can't be choosers. She did just fine =) Besides, I'm big on quality of information/entertainment value, not really production.

    If the videos become really popular and I need to do more of them, then I'll worry about it.

    But I can help you out with more shots of the food.

    Thanks for posting!

  • Originally Posted By Mathieu Next time do a puppet show with the chicken carcass!

    Deal! This is gonna be good.

  • Originally Posted By RANDYhey Roman! I need your HELP!!!

    Sorry this is off topic. My fatloss phase is will be finished by june 6. Now the question is, HOW DO I GAIN 10 POUNDS OF MUSCLE WITHOUT GETTING FAT? What would your approach be training wise and nutrition wise?

    Hey Randy,

    You can try Vince's program No Nonsense Muscle Building–it's set up pretty well for that.

  • Originally Posted By Josh SchlottmanThanks for the chicken recipe, looks good. I'm also lacking culinary skills but if you can do it I think anybody can do it! Totally kidding, but I'll give it a shot and let you know what I think…

    Haha, you're basically on target. If I can do it, just about anyone can. Let me know how you do!

  • Originally Posted By Mike AroneNice Work Roman…

    Being in NYC now you can stock the Food Network until they give ya show!

    I think they're likely me to give me a show about how to screw up gracefully. I think.

    Thanks for the props, Mike. Need to meet up in the City soon.

  • Originally Posted By NateRoman! I like seeing you in the kitchen, man.

    :)

    Get used to it, dedicated myself to this pretty heavy. You'll obviously be doing the cooking when you come visit, so try to impress!

  • Originally Posted By LosAnnegelesI thoroughly enjoyed the video!

    I'm old enough to be your mother (59), so please understand I'm not hitting on you (if only I were 25 years younger). Your many talents and personality are too endearing to dismiss. One day you shall have your own TV show … and I'm routing for you! Much luck and success!!

    A former New Yorker now living in the city of angels,

    L.A.angel (a paisano)

    Angel,

    Thanks so much for the kind words, so glad you liked the video. I don't believe that you're not flirting with me, though. Which is mainly because I like when you flirt with me.

  • Hannu

    Great recepie, but video shooting sucks. ( sorry to the lady behind the camera ) If you are going to continue video blocking take more attention to that, please.

  • Crazy how making food look good is just a matter of smears and stacking.

    Good job guys, I like the shenanigans. Next time do a puppet show with the chicken carcass!

  • hey Roman! I need your HELP!!!

    Sorry this is off topic. My fatloss phase is will be finished by june 6. Now the question is, HOW DO I GAIN 10 POUNDS OF MUSCLE WITHOUT GETTING FAT? What would your approach be training wise and nutrition wise?

  • Thanks for the chicken recipe, looks good. I'm also lacking culinary skills but if you can do it I think anybody can do it! Totally kidding, but I'll give it a shot and let you know what I think…

  • Nice Work Roman…

    Being in NYC now you can stock the Food Network until they give ya show!

  • Hey its like watching chefs in d Master class but being a vegetarian it makes it difficult to watch the poor chicken die of a thousand cuts.

    But still entertaining.

  • John

    Great video Roman and Rich – almost smell the food. Will have to adapt the marinade being allergic to soy!

  • antti asu

    great videos! cooking is fun!

  • Roman! I like seeing you in the kitchen, man.

    :)

  • LosAnnegeles

    I thoroughly enjoyed the video!

    I'm old enough to be your mother (59), so please understand I'm not hitting on you (if only I were 25 years younger). Your many talents and personality are too endearing to dismiss. One day you shall have your own TV show … and I'm routing for you! Much luck and success!!

    A former New Yorker now living in the city of angels,

    L.A.angel (a paisano)