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The "Dead Hooker" Workout and 10 More Gym-Free Ways to Train

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Roman shares some tips on Bodyweight Training, courtesy of Craig Ballantyne

Okay, now some of you—the ethically conscientious and morally sound individuals amount you—are probably wondering why I’ve got a blog post entitled “The Dead Hooker Workout.”

Um, well, because it’s hilarious, that’s why.

Okay, okay, there’s more.

There is, after all, an actual reason (and an actual workout) but you’ll just have to read the rest of the post to find out.

Here’s the deal: you know I’m a gym-rat through and through, but even for me, it’s often the case that the time it takes to get to and from the gym is just more time than you really have to spend. You’ve got to make time for your workouts, but the trip can be a nuisance; especially when you’re traveling.

Whether you’re busy running around like crazy doing some sight-seeing or just trying to minimize time away from the poker tables while you’re in Vegas, it’s important to make sure you are structuring your approach to fitness in a way that’s going to allow you to meet your goals.

Fortunately, you can get a kick-ass workout in at home (or in my case, in a hotel room) to stay in shape when you can’t hit the gym… even if you only have 15 minutes to exercise a few days per week.

Of course, we’re talking about workouts performed with just your bodyweight; and when it comes to bodyweight workouts, Craig Ballantyne is the Dude Among Dudes.

So of course, I emailed him and asked him for two things:

  • A list of his Top 10 Gym-less Workout Ideas
  • A Custom workout that I could do in my hotel room

He was nice enough to send both—which I’m going to share with you.

First things first:

Craig Ballantyne’s List of Top 10 Gym-less Workout Ideas

  1. Use the first superset of your favorite Turbulence Training workout and do as many rounds as possible in 10 minutes. Why? Because the first superset always contains the most effective exercises.
    (NOTE: This is why I only have one circuit that I repeat in my Dead Hooker Workout Video below)
  2. “30 seconds on, 30 seconds off” doing kettlebell swings 
  3. Burpees
  4. Kettlebell Exercises paired with TRX Exercises (although this involves a lot of equipment and space)
  5. TT Bodyweight Cardio Workouts (that don’t require any equipment at all)
  6. Intervals super-setted with ab exercises like planks or side planks (which are made harder by the high breathing rate)
  7. Bodyweight Challenges – Like the Bodyweight Cardio 1000 (Challenge type workouts get you hooked on exercise and prevent you from skipping workouts)
  8. DB-BW Fusion Workouts – Pair a dumbbell exercise and bodyweight exercise together in a superset and go back and forth as many times as possible in 10 minutes.
  9. Hybrid Tri-set Workouts – 3 exercises performed in a tri-set, using one dumbbell exercise, one bodyweight exercise, and one kettlebell or stability ball exercise. Requires just a little equipment, but work great!
  10. Adrenaline Circuits – Combining bodyweight exercises and short, burst adrenaline style interval training methods. (Adrenaline intervals are covered in the 31 Interval Workouts manual.) 

Okay, Okay, What’s  the Dead Hooker Workout?

Well, for that, you need to check out the email thread between Braig and I when I asked him for all of this.

My first email to Craig:

“Bru,

Heading to Vegas tomorrow. Staying at the Paris and the gym there is, as the Spanish say, “el terriblé.”

I can haz workout of teh bodyweights to do in my hotel room? And maybe like 10 ideas for the blog.

Me love you long time.

Snuggles,
Roman”

Response from Braig:

“Bruman,

You will always be a baller in my eyes. List is attached as a doc. Here is a workout for you to get started with:

  • Bodyweight Squat x 30 (these are to be performed naked)
  • Decline pushup with feet on something (preferably a Dead Hooker) x 20
  • Bulgarian Split Squat with back foot on DH x 10-15
  • Spiderman Climb x 12 per side (no spiders needed)
  • Step-Over to Duck Unders x 12 per side (hip mobility in case you want to come out of Stripper Retirement while in Vegas)
  • Inchworms/Walkouts x 8

REST: 15-30 seconds between exercises, 90 seconds between circuits. Perform 4-6 circuits, then dispose of hooker.

Good luckz at the pokeringzzz!

Braig”

My response:

“What if I don’t have a dead hooker?”

Craig:

“It’s Vegas. Just call down to the desk, they’ll have one brought up.”

Well, turns out: not at the Paris. Apparently, working out with Dead Hookers is frowned upon in this establishment.

However, I was able to do the workout with some modifications—and as promised, I filmed it for you.

Here’s the vid:

 

Now, when you’re done with this workout, you’re probably going to want to do more awesome stuff.  So, to that, I’ve got you covered.

Sir Braigimus of CallEntyne is currently running a great special: you can get two of his BEST Turbulence Training Workouts for less than 20 bucks each.

Seriously, both of those workouts for 39.95.

That’s crazy.

How Crazy?

Almost as crazy as standing half naked in a field randomly holding a kettlebell.

If you haven’t already taken advantage of Krazy Kraig’s Special Sale, get it HERE.

And now, on to the question of the day folks: what are YOUR favorite “gym-less” workouts? Leave ’em below!

About the Author

John Romaniello is a level 70 orc wizard who spends his days lifting heavy shit and his nights fighting crime. When not doing that, he serves as the Chief Bro King of the Roman Empire and Executive Editor here on RFS. You can read his articles here, and rants on Facebook.

  • Adam Wilkie

    I just tried this workout for the first time.
    Great for a day of busy writing! Splits it up nicely!

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  • Chas

    Thanks Roman for keeping this hotel room workout simple. Nothing complicated at all. Thay does it for me. Chas

  • I had long hair at the time, and I didn't want to style it for the video. I can't bring myself to be unpresentable on camera.

    Plus, I get to rep my team.

  • Almost!

  • Ted

    Watching your video *again* mind you. Forgot that tiny but ever-so-important detail. Almost as important as your headgear. But not quite.

  • Ted

    So… as I sit here watching your video instead of studying an hour before my last final ever as an undergraduate, I have come to wonder… why are you wearing a baseball cap while working out? Does it improve endurance? This matter and your response of utmost importance. Alas, I worry I will not pass my final without your answer.

  • haseeb

    Tacfit Commando!

    + the 20 min tacfit challenge is a real killer :o :o :o

  • David

    Great body workout Roman. I'm sure the next one will be just as vigorating.

  • bryan

    Hey Roman. Unrelated to the bodyweight workout but actually to the superhero workout, what would be a good cardio program to integrate into it? Intervals how many times per week with walking on other days?

  • alyssa

    Dear Roman-

    I'm in love with you I think.

    Alyssa

  • Beverly

    I'm surprised the gym was inadequate–this is Vegas, after all. I've stayed where the gym was either locked or under construction; that's a bummer, but in Las Vegas?

    Anyway, great post.

    (light or heavy depends on the rock)

  • Pat

    Loved the video. I think I can do this one when I travel–minus the decline push up, I have enough trouble doing reg pushups. Thanks

  • Marie

    Ahahaha! Loved the vid. Gold star on figuring out how to workout in such a small space. My favorite gym-less workout? Jumping Jacks. Plank (side as well). Captain Americas (or flop like a fish). Squats. Lunges (stationary and lateral).

  • Scott C

    Thanks for the workout! I generally struggle to get in a quality workout when I travel. That looks like an awesome routine.

  • Larry Burns

    great stuff, loved all of them,

    more please !!

    Larry

  • Tonia

    Great timing Roman. I'm heading to Sydney to visit my elderly Mum next week, and this workout will be perfect to do at her house.

  • KEN EBACHER

    HI JOHN! ROMAN YOU ALWAYS HAVE GREAT ADVICE! THANKS FOR YOUR PERSONAL INSPIRATION BRO! YOU ROCK!

  • Irma

    Hi Roman,

    Can I please get a video of the naked bodyweight squats? :-)

    j/k (but not really)

  • Frank A

    Hi Roman,

    I thought I saw this vid before – last year before the winter holidays.

    You did a good job in putting in an exercise to see if we were paying attention – you did the spiderman pushup instead of the spiderman climb/lunge. I just reviewed Braig's Spiderman Exercises on YouTube.

    This is a great reminder of a set I can do on our Caribbean cruise in September – in case the ship's gym is not well equiped.

  • Candice

    I love using my valslides for home workouts and they're so small and light for traveling. Great for lunges and for a killer ab workout. I also have the low ceiling issue and small space issues so I just jump with an invisible jump rope and do the same motions. No tripping that way either and between those and jump squats, and no rest between exercises it's good cardio! I also do a ton of leg lifts and kickboxing

  • Lisa Lepla

    Looks like an excellent workout. Can't wait to give it a try. I think I will use it as a warmup at the gym as well.

  • Awesome Roman! Love the post!

    My personal favourite gymless workout is:

    5 Pull-ups

    10 Push-ups

    15 Sqauts

    Repeat the circuit for 10-15 minutes. Go for as many rounds as you can, my personal best is 15 rounds in 15 minutes.

  • leah

    Great – looks like a goodworkout and I am a 50+ old female, so works for everyone clearly. I really like this blog, always good info! Love from South Africa

  • Ian

    This is perfect for us travelers. I was surprised he didn't add “Hotel Bed Deadlifts.”

  • Sky Gal

    Love this post. Of course I usually do my cheat days while in Vegas so since it is only a 2 and a half day affair I take a break from my daily workout routines.

  • Doris

    Good workout, Roman. I love workouts like this, and my other new favorite in the past few months are Tabatas.

  • That's awesome. Now I know what to do if I ever get to Vegas and end up at the Paris. Thanks, man!

  • @Josh – lol i was hoping someone would get that reference.

  • Josh

    Looks like someone else loves the ETrade baby's “solitary” commercial!

    Just a man and his thoughts…aaand a smart phone.

  • @Pete – nice circuit! I heart dips

    @BikiniMommy – good ideas, ESPECIALLY the band-assisted pull-ups. More people should be doing those.

    Congrats on needing a new kettlebell. Good feeling, right!?

    @Mike Arone – lol, I never question when it comes to Braig.

    @rach – not so well. My first losing trip in a while. Played pretty well, but my last hand of the day I was a bit low on chips and got it all win with AA against AK and the flop came KK2. Alas!

  • rach

    Commando crawling and jumps squats are good,but never mind the bodyweight workouts- how did the poker go?

  • Is there any other way than to have your feet on a DH when doing pushups?

    He specified as if there was.

    Hahaha—great emails!

  • I don't go to a gym so all my workouts are gym-less :D I guess that it helps I have a treadmill to do intervals on.

    Besides that my favorite gym-less workouts are running stairs (I do at a local college, if you are at a hotel you could possibly use the stairs there), Kettlebell exercises, and I'm a big fan of the basics push-ups, pull-ups (assisted w bands for me), planks, squats, lunges.

    After reading this and right before commenting I decided to grab my kettlebell and did swings for 2:30 straight. I alternated between both hands and one handed, this works well because after the one handed swings, both hands feel like a rest period. I think I might have to bump up my weight now though. I've been using a 15 lber since I only started with it about a month ago, but that little workout felt a bit too easy.

  • Pete

    1 Forward Lunge

    2 Press-up

    3 Suit-case curl (no dumbbells) (put the fire extinguisher in your suitcase if its too light)

    4 Tricep Dips

    5 Single leg squat

    6 Suitcase raise (from squat position raised over head, lowered behind the neck then back to start.

    7 Abs Crunch

  • Björn

    Sup Bro,

    nice workout even if its not from the genius Roman (i don't know if you have heard about him in the past) i think he's something like an pimp in the fitness industry…

    …but anyways good video and quite good performance in the moves :P

    Cant wait, to hear from your vegas trip,

    From cold germany Björn

    Ps: In the casino right now aswell; hitting black jack and poker tables :)

    Pss: i'm not responsible for any writing misstakes cause of my

    stupid iphone keyboard/display….

    Psss: I'm done; see ya

  • phyllis

    It would have been funny to have a duck under the covers, or maybe just point out that Donald Duck has no unders.

  • phyllis

    On the Step over Duck unders, how come both legs didn't step over? Kinda broke the illusion for me, so I pretended that you tripped a wire with the second leg and set off the bomb.

    Anyway, I have a trip coming up. Using a regular size hotel room is more true to life. I'm going to print out some scrren shots to take with me, and I'll give it a go.

    Thanks again to you and CB.

  • Leeca

    Haha….way cool dude! Will show my son so he can do this ova the school holidays.

  • Invested in a 60 lb KB a while back, works great this time of year, esp when you've got a ton of family around for the holidays and don't want to spend the 90 minutes it would take to go to the gym, lift, come back, get cleaned up, and rejoin the events.

    20 minutes of swings, snatches, presses and i feel like i did something at least.

  • Hey Roman, are tri-sets good for building muscle too?

    Also, aren't spiderman climbs different from spiderman pushups?

  • Ylwa

    Another thing that is being frowned upon is not performing your workouts as prescribed. Not cool with the clothes there Romanizzle! Next time I'll be expecting a rear shot of the naked squat.

    And you need to make it to the Bellagio asap. They provide not only hookers in any living state but the ceelings are high enough enable trampoline jumps and a complimentary stripper pole for you to measure progress on the step-over duck-unders.

    Personally, I don't do well with home workouts, unless absolutely neccessary. I need the change of environment to put myself in the mode. When working out at home I tend to not focus on what I'm doing but rather that I need to put clothes in the washer, the floor is dusty so I need to vaccum and I should cook meal boxes. And so on. I know some people work exactly the other way around, but for me I only do BW home workouts if absolutely neccessary…

  • Gerry

    Cool workout. I think Braig thought you were going to the Canadian Vegas (somewhere just outside Toronto). Much, much easier to train with dead hookers there (ahem … so I've heard). By the way, Roman, your calves rock!

  • i do not see vidzzz

  • Glenn

    Ha! Love it. I've linked this page to a facebook group we've got going planning our WSOP trip next year!

  • Oh. Well of course. That makes much more sense.

  • It's not a field. It is a backyard beside a field. And it is not random. Standing half-naked in backyards is a Canadian past-time. Like NASCAR for Americans.

    braigz