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13 Life Lessons We Can Learn from Zoolander

Let’s just start off by saying that Zoolander is one of the greatest movies ever made.

I’m not even kidding what I say that.

Released in 2001, Zoolander bombed at the box office because of the proximity of it’s debut to 9/11, but has gone on to have a massive cult following and boasts some of the most impressive DVD sales of any movie ever made.

Because it’s genius, that’s why.

On the surface a silly flick, Zoolander is a richly layered comedy that’s so deep you sometimes don’t get jokes until the fifth or sixth time you see the film.

While even the first layer of the movie is enjoyable, it’s the fact that each character and each scene serves as commentary on the bizarre worlds of either fashion in particular or celebrity in general that gives the movie its smarts.

The (acting and intentional over-acting) are equally enjoyable, and gift us with more quotable scenes and one-liners than any movie since Caddyshack.

If I had to estimate, I would say that I’ve “seen”  Zoolander something like 600 times—mainly because the DVD played on a continual loop in our door room for the majority of my junior year1.

Personally, the film speaks to me because it contains a number of elements I appreciate: bromance, break-dance fighting, modeling, mind-control, and unrepentant, over-the-top satire.

These things are obvious. Less obvious is the fact that Zoolander is a fantastic interpretation of the Hero’s Journey. Like many great Hollywood classics, uses Joseph Campbell’s ideas about mythic structure for both story telling and character arc. Like many great films, Zoolander presents a number of the stages of the Journey somewhat out of sequence, but the majority of them are there.

As a huge Campbell nerd, this is exceptionally appealing to me, and makes an already great movie even better. During this piece, I won’t touch too much on mythic structure—I’ll be writing an entire series on that in the future—save to point out where on the Journey a certain point of the movie might reflect.

However, let me say that I truly believe that we can learn from all stories, even the ones that seem silly.

If you pay attention, there are lessons even in the most unexpected places; and today, I would like to take you through one of least expected of all.

Please come with me, as I lay out what I’ve learned from my friend Derek.

 

13 Life Lessons From Zoolander

 

1) PLAY YOUR STRENGTHS

This is pretty simple, but I think it’s an important lesson. All we need to do is examine the origins of Zoolander’s career.

A reflection in a spoon: by such things are the strings of destiny pulled. DZ recognized his strength, and decided to bank on it. In doing so, he became one of the most successful models in the world.

In the Hero’s Journey, Derek is in Stage One: The Ordinary World. When we first meet him, Derek is at the top of his game, and on top of the world. He sees life through a particular lens, and is on concrete footing.

Derek’s journey will take him further, but let’s start by applying his general attitude to ourselves. Playing your strengths works well in any endeavor, and therefore should be a large part of the decisions making progress. I feel that the tendency to gravitate towards that which we’re suited is something that we should embrace, not run away from—and yet people do the opposite.

While I certainly think there is merit in learning to embrace the suck and try to work through you limitations, the fact is that you’re going to be more successful if you don’t force yourself to rely on doing things you don’t enjoy,

When I work with my business coaching clients, I am endlessly amazed at how often people seek to master things they either aren’t suited to learning or simply don’t need to know. You have people who are terrible on video stammering through YouTube uploads when they should simply be writing; or people who “hate” Facebook spending two hours a day on social media; and the worst is people trying to figure out tech.

Playing your strengths is the simplest path to success and fulfillment.

To use myself as an example: My entire life, I’ve been great with words but terrible at math—while I’ve spent a bit of time trying to shore up my weaknesses, I think it’s plain to see that I’ve selected a career path where my strengths allow for success.

Zoolander shows us that if you’re good at something, that should be your focus—not worrying about thing that you are bad at. This has been helpful to me in all aspect of my career, including my in-person training business: early on, I made a lot of mistakes, but I still managed to be successful, because I always played to my strengths. And because I was aware of this, it helped me overcome even the biggest mistakes, and learned from them.

2) NOTHING LASTS FOREVER 

When perennial favorite Derek is passed up for the Male Model of the Year Award in favor of up-and-comer Hansel (so hot right now), he has an understandable freak-out; his prominence in the industry is a defining characteristic of his life, a cornerstone in the foundation of his entire worldview.

hansel so hot right now

so hot right now

His loss is the beginning of the end of Derek’s career, and forces him to reevaluate both his place in the world and his values, culminating in a confrontation with the idea of his own mortality, and, ultimately, the realization of the fact that there’s more to life than his experiences would have led him to believe.

This experience takes Derek to the next on the Journey—it is the Call to Adventure, signaling that things need to change and he has more in store for him.

The lesson here is simply that everything is fleeting, especially youth. Now that I’m 30, I’m starting to realize that my values and priorities are different than they were at 20. While I knew this on some level, it’s really become both more obvious and more impactful since I wrote out my list of rules for a successful life.

While I’m definitely happy with where I am in life, it is not without a certain wistful fondness—and perhaps a bit of reluctance—that I accept aging. Although I’m not old by any stretch, life is different now than it was, for both my friends and myself. As people start settling down and getting married, interactions change, and you have to put away a few aspects that may have once defined your friendships.

By watching Zoolander, I’ve learned to appreciate youth and accept the inevitability of both aging and change2.

In terms of business, Derek’s loss reminds us that your time on top is not guaranteed; once that’s firmly in mind, we understand how important it is to give your best every single day, and never, ever get complacent.

3) EARTH TO ROMAN: IT COULD ALL END IN A FLASH

Building on the point from above, Zoolander puts us in touch with our own mortality and the fickleness of fate.

Even though he lost to Hansel, Derek is not ready to relinquish his place in the universe. This is Stage Three of the Hero’s Journey – Refusal of the Call. Many heroes resist change and don’t want to venture out of the Ordinary World. 

Fate, however has other plans in store.

In nearly any adaptation of mythic structure, reluctant heroes are met with consequences for their reluctance—usually in the form of death3.

Zoolander is no different; in attempt to pull him from his morose thoughts, Derek’s model buddies suggest the most obvious thing in the world: Orange Mocha Frappuccino!


Quick sidebar – can we all just take a moment to appreciate that Meekus is being played by Eric Northman from True Blood? Yeah. Deal with that.

Derek’s friends were the last three people in the industry who believed that Derek was better than Hansel. As the physical embodiment of the Ordinary World, they were rope tying him to the delusion that if he just wished hard enough, things would go back to the way they are.

After the above scene, the boys coordinate outfits, hit the jeep, and get their OMF on. Unfortunately, catastrophe ensues when Derek’s three friends meet their demise in a freak gasoline fight accident.

True to Campbellian structure, tragedy clears the way for destiny; the hero is now free to go on the adventure of self-exploration.

I think the lessons here are clear: first, we see the correlation between consumption of Orange Mocha Frappuccino’s and spontaneous combustion.

Secondly, we see that your next breath is not guaranteed. As Derek mentions in his moving eugoogoly, the tragic deaths of Brint, Rufus and Meekus show us that life is a precious, precious commodity—and if a group of male models can die in something as routine and commonplace as a gasoline fight, how much more evidence to you need to accept that today can be your last?

I have taken this lesson to heart, and while I don’t morbidly obsess over my eventual death, I take a second to appreciate my life, and spend quality time with the people on my life who won’t always be around.

Thirdly, with regard to our own journeys, we learn that sometimes we need to cut people out of our lives to get to the next phase of our development; on the other side, you’ll have to accept that they’ll leave of their own accord in order to move along in their own quests.

4) SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO EARN SUPPORT

One of the most poignant scenes in the movies is when Derek goes home to spend some time with the original Zoolander clan.

This is the next stage of the Hero’s Journey – Crossing the First Threshold.

At this point, the Hero has accepted that he needs to undertake some sort of effort to make a change, and does something out of the ordinary, which usually takes him to strange and unfamiliar places.

Thinking himself perhaps done with the industry, Derek tries his hand at the family business of coal mining—a failed experiment that leads to a painful discussion with his father, who condemns his son’s life choices and disowns him.

So much for fatherly love! With cries of, merman! cough cough, merman!, our young hero flees the scene and heads back to city life.

While of course this is meant to be funny, it’s a scene that’s always resonated with me. I’ve discussed this in other posts, but I’ll briefly mention here that my mother, with whom I am very close, hasn’t always approved of my career path.

In the early stages of my career, Momma Roman made it perfectly clear that she didn’t consider training to be a “real job.” She felt that it was an okay thing to while I was figuring things out, but hounded me constantly about getting a masters or whatever degree she thought would lead to something more.

To be fair, she only had my best interests at heart, and, her perspective shaped having raised me by herself with very little money, felt that stability was the surest way to avoid struggle.

Although knew that at the time, I was constantly faced with disapproval and disappointment, with constant reminders that I was squandering my education and wasting my potential; a painful situation to say the least, and I could certainly relate to how Derek felt when he reluctantly trudged away from his family in his fabulous snakeskin outfit.

Not a good feeling.

At the end of the film, Poppa Zoolander is watching the Derelicte fashion show on TV when Derek finally lets the beast out of the cage and exposes the world to the beauty of Magnum. Stunned by the sheer radiance of his son’s masterpiece, Derek’s dad finally accepts his son for who he is.  (This, by the way, is another stage in the Hero’s Journey – Atonement with the Father.)

I’m happy to report that my mother eventually came around, much like Derek’s dad. For me, this happened only when my income went above (and stayed above) six figures per year, all while I was getting published more frequently.

For Momma Roman, it took a combination of consistent income (or, as my mom would put it, stability) coupled with the external validation of talent to change her mind—and since around 2008, she’s been extremely supportive.

The lesson here is that you have to be true to yourself, even when facing disapproval from those closest to you; eventually, they’ll come around, but it may not happen until your prove yourself.

In other words—just as I did—you’ll have to develop your own version of magnum, which we’ll touch on in the 11th lesson.

5) WATER IS THE ESSENCE OF WETNESS

As a corollary to that, wetness is the essence of beauty.

6) BEWARE OF FALSE PROPHETS (AND PROFITS)

Reeling from his father’s rejection, Derek is feeling more lost than ever. Just as he is about to succumb to despair, his agent Maury Ballstein contacts him with an opportunity to work with Mugatu, the only fashion designer who had theretofore spurned him.

Derek meets with Maury, which comprises Stage Five of the Hero’s Journey – the Meeting with the Mentor. During this conversation, he Derek shows signs of growth and maturity, bringing up the idea of a school to help children.

From there, we enter into Stage Six of the Hero’s Journey –  The Road of Trials, which is comprised of Tests, Allies, and Enemies. Our Hero meets with the villain, and, unfortunately, Derek fails a test. While he was initially skeptical of Mugatu’s change of heart, the villain plays on Derek’s weakness—vanity. Won over by Mugatu’s flattery, Zoolander accepts the Derelicte campaign; a mistake for which he’ll pay dearly.

After being led astray, Derek winds up at a week-long day spa, where he is subjected to brainwashing techniques intended to turn him into a really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking assassin.

From Derek’s failure, we see very clearly that not all opportunities are what they seem, and that if you’re not careful, a lot of people will try to use and take advantage of you.

To be clear, I believe that most people are generally good, but there are some scumbags out there. If you’re going to develop any sort of a platform, eventually you’re to deal with an unbelievable number of sketchy or disingenuous people who try to strike up friendships for the wrong reason, thinking that you’ll be able to help them in some way.

They come with flattery or bearing gifts, or promises of traffic or profit—and it can seem appealing.

Personally, I’ve learned that I have to vet people and products thoroughly before I can get involved on any level. And I think that applies to any industry.

At the end of the day it’s all about going with your gut, no matter how shiny something seems, and from Derek’s experience with Mugatu, we learn that if someone looks fair and feels foul (hat tip, Tolkien), you’re better off staying away. 

7) SOMETIMES, YOU GOTTA PUSH BACK

I generally advise turning the other cheek and just being cool with people; I’m of the mind that if you don’t react, they eventually stop.

Usually.

With some folks, however, a lack of response can be seen as weakness; this may encourage them to keep going, even to the point where they suggest you dere-lick their balls.

Derek had had enough taunting from Hansel (so hot right now) and his cronies and eventually decides to push back. After a brief bit of verbal sparring, our hero throws down the gauntlet, and—against the advice of Billy Zane (who, by the way, is a cool dude)—challenges Hansel to a walk-off.

Put a lid on it, Zane!

This is a continuation of Stage Six, and is another test. 

As for the lesson, if I may paraphrase Mencius, while I dislike fighting, there are things I dislike more, so there are occasions when I will not avoid conflict. There are other occasions when you’ve just gotta challenge someone to a David Bowie refereed walk-off.

Which is exactly what Derek does. 

It’s an epic battle, and though Derek fights walks bravely, Hansel emerges victorious when he goes monk. 

Despite his loss, Derek passes the test, because he stood up for himself. This prepares him for conflict later on, and his biggest test. 

Although it didn’t work out for him, Derek’s courage is an inspiration, and teaches us that sometimes, you gotta put your foot down, your back up, and come out swinging…or walking.

One of the most important lessons you’re ever learn is that even though you may fail, you have to try—and that there is very often victory in defeat.

8) HATERS ARE JUST LOVERS IN DISGUISE

Speaking of people taking shots at you, let’s examine the reasoning behind such behavior.

First, a set up from the film: on the run from Mugatu’s henchmen, Derek is forced to seek shelter at Hansel’s loft, but he must first gain access by having a conversation to the tension between them.

We’re still in Stage Six of the Journey, but this is the last stop on the Road of Trials In this instance Hansel, at the door to his apartment, serves as a Threshold Guardian. By turning Hansel from an enemy to a friend, Derek has gained an important ally for his quest4.

zoolander hansel loft

Threshold Guardians…so hot right now.

The life lesson this teaches us is about forgiveness and understanding. The rivalry between Derek and Hansel was bubbling in espoused hatred—but ultimately stemmed from mutual jealousy;  which, if you think about it, is one of the most potent forms of love.

When they were able to talk it out, they became best friends and had a freak-fest with Matil.

This shows us that when people are negative, it usually indicates nothing more than a strong dose of envy—and that should be taken as a compliment, as it shows how much people really admire you.

It’s often said that “haters” don’t actually hate you; they hate themselves, and are just projecting because they begrudge the fact that you’ve achieved something they haven’t. I think that’s a fair point.

I’ll take it further and say that this is even more prominent online. The problem with the Internet is that it creates and allows for association with dissociation; that is, you’re introduced to someone, but the physical distance allows you to see them as personas instead of people.

The Internet allows us to connect to one another, but the inherent disconnection leads to people taking things out of context and getting bent out of shape; the result is long-standing arguments and grudges between people who—if they’d met under other circumstances or in person—would probably get along really well. Especially because they often have a lot in common5.

In examining the relationship between Derek and Hansel, I’ve come to see that when people battle on the Interwebz, a lot of it is just based on petty envy, which has allowed me to avoid a lot of petty squabbles. 

By keeping that in mind, you’ll be able to just do the important thing: focus on the Journey.

9) THERE’S A LOT TO BE SAID FOR WELL-TIMED USAGE OF THE PHRASE, “OH, SNAP!” 

Nuff said, I think.

10) DON’T JUDGE SOMEONE BY THEIR PAST

While at the loft, Derek, Hansel, and Matilda have some deep conversation and give in to the power of the tea, culminating in one of the wackiest orgies I’ve ever heard of. 

The sex isn’t the important thing, though. The important thing is that the next day, Derek confesses to Hansel that he’s realized he’s in love with Matilda.

Derek has just hit Stage Seven of the Hero’s Journey – Meeting with the Goddess. His experience with Matilda is certainly odd, but he feels connected to her in a way that allows him to experience pure love.

The lesson here, other than the importance of love, is not to let stupid things like sexual history get in the way of that feeling, and that judging people based on that history is a terrible idea.

I think it’s fairly obvious that none of us like to spend much time dwelling on the sexual histories of our respective partners; whether it’s feelings of inadequacy or guilt or mistrust, it usually makes us feel a little weird. But, as Derek shows us, a person is more than the sum of their sexual experience, and should never be judged for their choices.

Although Derek witnesses Matilda in congress with Hansel, some Finnish dwarves, and a Maori tribesman, he moves past it and just loves her honestly. His immediate dismissal of the orgy and acceptance of Matilida is a great lesson for all of us to avoid rushes to judgment, and base our assessment of people solely on their experiences with us, rather than those that came before—so if you love someone, you shouldn’t count them out simply because their high school nickname might have been fingercuffs.

11) THROUGH GREAT STRUGGLES, THE GREAT EMERGE

Derek Zoolander was many things: a model, lover, sex symbol and icon. Now, that’s not quite as good as being a genius, billionaire, playboy and philanthropist, it’s still a pretty awesome resume.

But, impressive though he may have been, one thing Derek Zoolander could not claim to be was an ambiturner—a shortcoming that frustrated him daily. However, it was this very limitation that allowed Derek to achieve his greatest success.

In the climax of the film, we’re in the part of the Journey called The Ordeal, when Mugatu has the audacity to say that Zoolander’s repertoire of modeling looks—including Blue Steel, Ferrari and Le Tigre—are all the same, and throws an M-shaped shuriken at the Prime Minister of Malaysia, Derek’s erstwhile assassination target.

This action forces Derek into Stage Nine of the Hero’s Journey (Reward), and in a moment of exceptional need, he Seizes the Sword, as Campbell would say.

In spite of the fact that Derek lived his life suffering from a complete incapacity to turn left, when he needed to do it to save the world, he was able to overcome this debilitating restriction in the moment and swing a louie.

As it turned out,  when it really counted, his sternocleidomastoid did function both ways.

The lesson here is two fold. The first is that many times our limits are self-imposed, and when we truly need to go beyond them, we can.

The second part builds on the first: only when Derek finally sheds the shackles of self-doubt and is he able to turn left. He is willing to sacrifice himself to someone else, and has the confidence to do so, putting his precious pretty face in the path of a ninja star.

It is only through the removal these things that he as able to finally perfect and unveil Magnum, his pièce de résistance.


Dear God, It’s Beautiful

In that instant of selflessness and self-discovery, Derek achieves the full promise of Stage Nine – Apotheosis, or deification. For one brief moment, Derek is god-like.

From Derek’s struggle and ultimate triumph with ambi-turning, we see that if challenges are part of the journey, and without them, we’ll never become who we have the potential to be.

12) GIVE BACK

The next lesson is the most important, and the one I want you to walk away with.

During the course of his Hero’s Journey, Derek’s encounters with aging and death, his confrontation with his father, and his experience with momentary apotheosis reinforce what he began to see early in the film: there’s more to life than being…well, ya know.

This is the final stage of the Hero’s Journey – the Return with the Elixir. In this stage, the Hero returns to the ordinary world, and uses what he learned on his quest to help others.

In the film’s dénouement, we see that Derek has come to accept that he’s in the twilight of his modeling career, and has focused his attention on a school that will help develop young minds and young talent.

Derek has begun to think about the world outside of himself, as well as after himself – and he wants to create something that will not only help people, but also contribute to his legacy. From this idea is born the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

A center for ants, obviously.

From this, we learn that while our own development and success may be (and should be) at the foremost of our minds for the majority of our lives, at some point we need to think about giving back, and using the skills and successes we’ve accrued to help others move further down the line on their respective paths.

This lesson has had the most impact on me, and it is the reason that I enjoy coaching, teaching, and writing so much: by sharing with you my experiences, and the benefits of by my triumphs and losses, I achieve the final phase of my own journey; I help pass on a piece of myself to you, hopefully helping you get to the next stage of your individual quest.

It’s one of the truly great pleasures that coaches have—our journeys are linked to yours, and your successes are linked to yours.

If you’re a coach or a trainer, remember that.

13) THE OBVIOUS

Yes, as it turns out, there is more to life than being really, really, really, really ridiculously good looking. But not much.

Closing Thoughts

All of that is some deep shit, and it’s all true. But then again, I’ve been sunbathing off the southern coast of St. Bart’s with spider monkeys for the past two weeks, tripping on acid; changed my whole perspective on shit–so really, what do I know?

Normally this is where I would ask you to leave your thoughts…but this time. Yeah. I’m just gonna leave this post here and walk away. You know what to do.
 
 Foot Notes
  1. I put “seen” in quotes because I usually wasn’t paying attention, but still, it’s worked it’s way into my subconscious
  2. Of all of the life lesson I’ve learned over the past few years, this has been both the hardest and most valuable. I actually wrote a post about it on my personal blog, which you can read here, if you’re interested
  3. My favorite example of this comes from Star Wars. Early in the film, Obi-Wan invites look to join him on the journey to Alderaan and help save Princess Leia. Though he’s tempted, Luke ultimately declines, citing responsibilities to his family and their farm. Not five minutes later, we discover that in his absence, his aunt and uncle have been killed and their farm burned. Though this is horrible, it does free Luke from his responsibility and allows him to pursue his destiny.
  4. This actually brings to mind another lesson, and a quote from Tim Ferriss: “A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.” Good thing to keep in mind.
  5. This is particularly prevalent in the fitness industry, where you have guys who agree on 98% of shit lambasting each other over the 2% they disagree on.
About the Author

John Romaniello is a level 70 orc wizard who spends his days lifting heavy shit and his nights fighting crime. When not doing that, he serves as the Chief Bro King of the Roman Empire and Executive Editor here on RFS. You can read his articles here, and rants on Facebook.

Comments for This Entry

  • Johnny Ranger McCoy

    Love the marriage of the Hero’s Journey to business, life, and entrepreneurship! You’ll enjoy the articles, lectures, audio, and video here: http://herosodysseyentrepreneurship.org/heros_odyssey_entrepreneurship.html HERO’S ODYSSEY ENTREPRENEURSHIP OUTLINE 1. The Ordinary World: You awake each day to the routine, rise, and leave your dreams behind. Blog your dream. Set it down in a notebook. Take ownership in your ideas with blogger.com or wordpress.org. 2. The Call to Adventure: A more vivid dream–a flash of inspiration. You can’t shake the feeling–the wave is real, though they can’t see it. Register those copyrights. File that provisional patent. Register that trademark. Voyage on out to your bookstore and cruise the section on entrepreneurship. Check out the USPTO. Read the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution–they were written for you. 3. Refusal of the Call: Voices tell you that you aren’t good enough. Friends, parents, teachers, bosses, and your own internal voice. Seek mentorship from those who have done, for they will say, “yes you can.” 4. Meeting the Mentor: With newfound energy you seek mentorship–you turn to the Great Books & Classics–The Odyssey & The Inferno–Shakespeare & The Bible, Franklin, Lincoln, Jefferson, and Martin Luther King Jr. Mentorship surrounds us. Wisdom comes from all walks of life. So listen, watch, and read. And then read some more–for those books which have lasted have lasted via the profound mentorship they provide. The USPTO has resources dedicated to artists, musicians, authors, and creators. Nolo.com has wonderful books for artists, authors, and creators. Two of my favorites are Patent it Yourself and Patents, Trademarks, and Copyrights. 5. Calling the Bluff: Nobody knows the hand you hold. And you can’t see theirs. But it seems–yes–they’re bluffing. So you call ‘em and raise ‘em, and you let them see the .45 revolver by your side–the Truth of the Great Books and Classics. You’re going to surf that dream on home. Dr. E added the “calling the bluff” stage to Vogler’s outline. You gotta call the postmodern bluff. Postmodern Wall Street transfers the risk to you and the wealth to themselves. Postmodern academia sells expensive degrees that often don’t teach much of value, instead teaching the exact opposite, opposing classical entreprneurship. Postmodern politics and literature have replaced plot and character with hype, and Hollywood has replaced Epic Story with reality TV and remakes of seventies sitcms. Call the bluff, live the renaissance, and vast wealth will be yours. 6. Crossing the Threshold: And so you set out, crossing that point of no return. You have no choice but to succeed. Once you’re on that wave, you’ve got but one choice–ride it. Suddenly the words of the Greats take on a new, more immediate meaning. Watch Braveheart, The Matrix, The Outlaw Jose Wales, and A Fistful of Dollars. Take those ideals off the silver screen, take them out of the books, for ideals are most useful tools in reaching your most valuable assets–your passions and dreams. Incorporate at bizfilings.com. As of today, you are your own business, and you can take Mark Cuban’s investment advice–“invest in You, Inc.” 7. The Road of Trials: It ain’t easy out here. Some statistics say that 90% of small businesses fold in five years. An infitesimal percentage of novels are published and screenplays optioned. But you do it anyway, as did everyone who ever suceeded. So you patent it, trademark it, copyright it, and live it. “Every fighter has a plan,” Mike Tyson once said, “until they get hit.” But that’s the joy of battle–for out here alone do we ever find our true constitution–our ability to innovate and think on our feet, and still prevail. So follow your dream, and tell the world, “My name is __________.” 8. Tests, Allies, Enemies: Even when your business is launched, when your screenplay is being produced, there will yet be those forces that oppose and sabotage. But too, loyal friends will emerge, and a Fellowship will form. And you shall find those best of friends that one only finds away out here, along this odyssey–they too left the ordinary world long ago and set off to follow their ideals, and Destiny brought you together. 9. Supernatural Aid: Away out here, something magical happens. A stroke of luck that only means something because of the risk you took. You took a chance, called the bluff, and caught the wave just right. So it is that “God helps those that help themselves.” Open source software, in all its robust freedom, can provide that seemingly supernatural aid. Software is labor immortalized, and open source has bestowed us with not only LAMP (Linux, Apache, MYSQL, PHP/PYTHON/PERL/RUBY) servers, but it offers free and robust solutions for ecommerce, content management, blogging, alubum hosting, and more. Fantastico allows for the quick and easy installing of leading open source spplication such as wordpress (blogging), joomla/drupal/postunke (content management), and cubecart/oscommerce/zencart (ecommerce). Hostgator accounts come with Fantastico and the intuitive cpanel interface. Also check out hotscripts.com for more free software. Don’t be afraid to get under the hood and “teach yourself” linux/php/mysql/apache in ten minutes, twenty-four hours, or fourteen days–you know those books. Hard work and studious industry is the best supernatural aid there is! And now it’s your turn to give someone a break–to provide trusting mentorship. Should you ever find yourself waiting around to be helped, reach out and help someone–give ‘em a break. 10. Stringing the Bow/Seizing the Sword: Degrees, money, and titles mean little out here–victory goes to those with integrity–those with honor, courage, and commitment. For ideals alone can string eternity’s bow. Ideals are your most valuable asset–they are those entities which inspired those dreams that awoke you long ago–the dream that haunted your days, always beckoning you to embark on this odyssey. 11. The Showdown/Ordeal: It’s been a long time coming. You just wanted to live in peace and harmony, but that boss/bureaucrat/outlaw antagonist just wouldn’t let you. But you call them out, and now you get to stand toe-to-toe; face-to-face with a new book, or invention, or film, or venture that serves the world in a better way. So often it is that entrepreneurship is opposed. “No good deed goes unpunished.” Socrates and Jesus were sentenced to death for seeing a better way and speaking the simple truth to power. Steve Jobs was kicked out of Apple. Read Richard Branson’s biography, and you will see the hundreds of showdowns he partook in. 12. Rescue From Without/The Resurrection: So often it is that just as one wins, the jealous bureaucracy moves in to seize control. In every Western, after our hero wins the showdown fair and square, yet another Outlaw draws a bead on him–to shoot him in the back. Jobs was kicked out of Apple, but then brought back to take it to new heights. Richard Branson lost Virgin Records, but was reborn in Virgin Airlines and a thousand other ventures. John C. Bogle founded Vanguard upon the ideals set forth in his Princeton Senior Thesis, and now he pens inspirational books and speeches based on those very same ideals. Every entrepreneur ought read Battle for The Soul of Capitalism, as it reminds us that entrepreneurship’s greater purpose is to serve. Those who live by ideals have no need to fear death, as Socrates realized, for the soul is immortal. Though some bureaucracy rejects the implementation of your ideals, they can’t steal nor kill those ideals–for America recognizes the entrepreneur’s rights. 13. The Road Back/Return with the Elixir/Freedom: You took ownership in your dreams and destiny–you called the bluff and caught the wave, and the Truth set you free. You added to the wealth of the world–the long-term wealth of the world–via the simple act of following your passions and dreams. And everything you learned on this Hero’s Odyssey will come in handy along tomorrow’s odyssey–we’re setting out at dawn. Dr. E’s Hero’s Odyssey EntrepreneurshipTM Blog

    June 17, 2015 at 4:20 pm

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  • jenny

    They are my two favorites film of all time. Very interesting post! Thanks

    September 21, 2012 at 4:07 am

  • Akemi Borjas de Korahais

    Two thumbs up. This film and the Fifth Element are my two favorites of all time!

    September 11, 2012 at 8:21 pm

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  • Mike

    Love this post Roman- Just read it again, awesome stuff. So hot right now. Oh and Mugato's a dick!

    August 28, 2012 at 10:49 pm

  • Ryan Munsey

    Great post Roman! Awesome movie and awesome lessons.

    August 28, 2012 at 4:41 pm

  • Jeni Gunn

    Thanks to Zoolander, I'm impatiently waiting for someone I know to die simply so I have the opportunity to use the term "eugoogoolizer".

    July 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm

  • WonderfullyWorthy

    Amazing! Clearly water is the essence of wetness, wetness is the essence of beauty.

    July 2, 2012 at 10:25 pm

  • Jess

    Holy crap, I haven't laughed this hard this early in the morning in awhile (and now have Wham's "Wake Me Up" stuck in my head, a-thankya). Great content as well; kinda like Cliff's Notes for the book, The Iliad For The Ridiculously Good Looking. I will definitely be reading this again, as it deserves more than one look from an ambiturner building a center for ants.

    July 1, 2012 at 12:00 pm

  • Chris K

    Roman-- I just wanted you to know this post meant a lot to me personally. The mark of a good writing/storyteller is someone who can teach powerful lessons through their own experiences (and through the lens of Zoolander no less!) As someone who has walked a similar path to your own (modeled in NYC, parents struggled with my choice to open a gym, etc), I found so many truths through this post. You have made a fan of me today and I look forward to learning more. Keep up the great work! Chris

    June 24, 2012 at 2:01 pm

  • Sven Slav Hladczuk

    its good to be very very good looking.. recommended read: http://www.amazon.com/Looks-They-Matter-More-Imagined/dp/0814480543.

    June 11, 2012 at 4:03 pm

  • Whitney Thomas Rogers

    Never have such true words been spoken. Love this movie!

    June 11, 2012 at 2:43 pm

  • Gianpaolo Merello

    I may love you for this

    June 11, 2012 at 10:26 am

  • Sean

    I don't know who that girl with the volleyball is (the brunette, not the blonde) on the athletic greens advert, but I mean to mind find out...I just thought you should know Roman.

    June 10, 2012 at 10:57 am

  • AndyFossett

    Life lessons from Zoolander AND a Chasing Amy reference. Brilliant. 

    June 9, 2012 at 3:49 pm

  • Russell Sabo

    I feel like watching the movie now that I know how much of a multi-layered, Hero's Journey it really is.

    June 8, 2012 at 9:52 pm

  • Kharina SternerJones

     Namaste Roman - you have unlocked the secrets of living really, really, ridiculously good.

    June 8, 2012 at 5:45 pm

  • Vigorousjonesy

    Thought you were gonna get corny but you did a great job. YESSSSSSSSSS

    June 8, 2012 at 5:00 pm

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