I know this is supposed to be a fitness site, but since I’m about to spend the next two weeks inundating the world in fitness information as I prepare to unleash Final Phase Fat Loss (check out my sweet new banner!), I thought we’d do something fun here.
So, I’m just gonna publish a bunch of random thoughts I have. Maybe you’ll get a chuckle out of it. Please, I encourage you to share yours.
- I’m not exactly a grammar Nazi, and I enjoy the use of internet language as much as anyone. I’m sorry, but “prolly” is not an acceptable abbreviation for the word “probably.” It’s a pretty strong clue that you’re a moron, however.
- Anytime one of my friends utters the phrase, “don’t worry, I got this” my gut reaction is to calculate precisely how fucked we are. (Take note, Joel Marion.)
- General Announcement: Wearing an Affliction t-shirt does not immediately grant you knowledge of or ability in mixed martial arts.
- On a related note, what’s worse? Paying 75 bucks for a t-shirt with rhinestones on it, or being a cheap bastard and bedazzling it yourself? Trick question, you’re still a douchebag.
- I don’t care how many antioxidants it has, adding pomegranate extracts to ice cream and vodka does not make them health food. On the other hand, it does make them tasty.
- A recent study indicates that people who pick their nose and eat it are less likely to get sick. This is because they are exposing themselves to low doses of bacteria, inoculating themselves against it. Makes sense. Now, think about that kid in your grade school with the perfect attendance record. Makes even MORE sense now, doesn’t it?
- Why is it always the skinny kids with the 15 pounds dumbbells who make the most obnoxious noises in the gym?
- Gyms are always completely jam packed after new years, but this dies down during the second week of February. What’s the logic there? “Oh, it’s Valentines Day and I’m still fat and single. Clearly this did not work. Fuck it.”
Okay, enough tomfoolery. Get ready for some hardcore fitness info for the next two weeks. Then we can go back to wasting time and having fun.
In the meantime, leave some of your own random thoughts and ruminations. Would love to hear from ya.