The RFS Swolepertrophy School


At long last, I’m about to unveil something new. Something–if you’ll pardon the pun–big.

I’ve been putting together something fun and hard and exciting, and as I get closer to bringing it out into the open, I want to work some people to help them crush their enemies and…you know the rest.

Long story short: I’m finally going to be realizing a full muscle building program. For real: all muscle, all the time.

And while it’s “ready” (programming complete, tested, and ready to go; lots of typos and typical Roman oversights), I wanna fully tame the beast before we unleash it on the public.


UPSHOT: I am looking for a Few Good Bros to join me and let me coach them to new heights of SWOLPERTROPHY.

Iz gon’ be sweet.

If you’re looking to gain muscle–whether you’re a typical hardgainer or someone looking to take it to the next level, look no further; I wanna work with you to bring your masturbatory muscle dreams to life. (Yeah, that’s a thing.) 

So, before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s tell you a bit more about the program…


  • TRAINING: I’m going work with a group of bros who are all doing similar brogramming. Workouts will be tailored to the individual based on equipment, experience, and time available, but by and large, everyone will be using the same principles.

    This means you and everyone else in the group will have workouts that are 90% the same, allowing you to bounce ideas off of each other, help each other out, and talk about how sweet your pumps are.

  • The workouts will be a combination of various principles. Everything from athletic shit to straight up bro workouts. You’re gonna love it. Unless you hate curls, progress, fun, blowjobs, or being jacked. In which case you’ll hate it, and I hate you, and you can’t sit with us. 
  • NUTRITION :You get custom macros, updates constantly (each week, new shit. Because that’s how you’re gonna progress, brah).
  • COACHING: All interaction will be done in a group setting. To begin, we’ll start with a Facebook group, but I’d like to move us over to Vimify​. I’ll be doing:
      –Monthly group coaching call
      -Weekly video (periscope style) on topics both relevant and inane
      -Some exclusive articles/content
  • You’re going to gain many muskellz and probably need new shirts. I’ll have some customs tshirts made up for the coaching group, size extra schmedium.


Other Notes:

  1. Sorry ladies, dudez only for this round. (I have something for women coming up as well.)
  2. You need to be able to commit AT LEAST 4 months (preferably 6) to this.
  3. Do not apply if you’re not willing to work your ass off.
  4. Do not apply if you object to frequent use of the words fuck, bro, dude, jacked, buttsex, or Haduken.
  5. Do not apply if you’re not willing to make some moderate adjustments to lifestyle.
  6. Do not apply if you’re unwilling to refer to the gym as the Fortress of Jacktitude.
  7. Whenever anyone asks you about your programming you must be willing to reply, “the first rule is that I’m not supposed to talk about it.”
  8. If pressed for more details, you reply with “I’m studying swology at the University level. Getting my Masters and shit.”
  9. In an ideal world, we’ll have 30 guys in this group all ready to kick ass. If we wind up with fewer, I’m okay with it. If the group gets too big, I’ll have to make some hard decisions. 
  10. It should go without saying, but this is a PAID program. It’s both worth every penny, and significantly discounted from my regular coaching rates, but if you really want things to work, you gotta put a little skin in the game.

Apply Here…

Anyway, as you can tell, I’m really, really excited about this, and super pumped to unleash it on the world. You’re gonna love it.

So, if you’re interested, just fill out the application below. If you know someone who this is good for, pleasesend it along to them.

We’re looking to start next week or the week after.

Time to get jackt!

No fucking around. Fill out the app and I’ll get back to you asap.